When you mean to write “in polyamory mentoring, I bring experience on a variety of fronts,” but what comes out is “experience on a variety of friends,” and you realize it would work either way.
When the e-mail arrived saying “Add 12 Inches Overnight!” it took me a moment to realize it was from the Weather Channel.
I remember, as a youth, choosing a simple motto:
Reach for Joy;
Joy’s mother was not impressed.
… I may not be everyone’s cup of tea.
For one thing, blowing on me does not cool me off.
This year‘s Puppy Bowl features “Team Ruff“ against “Team Fluff,“ which sounds like a typical night at the local BDSM club.
See dick? Run!
Run! Dick! Run!
Just for the record, I do not have “female-presenting nipples.” I present my nipples to interested and consenting adults regardless of their gender.
Yours, making a clean breast of it,
I could never consider myself God’s gift to women.
And “the Force’s gift to everyone” just sounds silly.
Everyone knows that communication is essential to good polyamorous relationships. That becomes just a little harder when different partners prefer different platforms – and you have to remember which is which. There’s the partners who text, and the partner who only wants to use Facebook Messenger, and the partner who is on Signal, and the partner who wants to text an alternate number to use Google Voice… and the comet on Hangouts, and the one who sometimes likes Marco Polo or FaceTime but not Skype… and Skype but not FaceTime… and… and…
…just tell people you’re morenogamous.
No, polyamory does not mean “having a woman in every port.”
Some of those cities are nowhere near water.
If you’re hard, don’t be fast.
Attending the Loving More poly conference outside Denver, and (as sometimes happens at such things) they passed out bingo cards, where you mingle with other attendees to see who has attributes like “Learned of poly after age 40” or “From east of the Mississippi.”
One of the entries on my card is “Attending with 2 or more lovers,” to which the only reasonable answer would seem to be, “No, but the conference has barely started.”
A hot-blooded lass name of Muriel
Who was feeling a little mercurial
Said, “You know what I need
Is a handsome young steed
With some demonstrable skills embouchurial.”
Sex with a stranger or strangers is a whosome.
Henceforth, photographs of male intimate parts, whether solicited or not, shall be referred to as “dickguerreotypes.”
When you dictate “Yours with no small amount of yearning,”
and what gets transcribed is “Yours was no small amount of urine.”
After a certain age, all dating is carbon dating.
I was recently introduced to the president of the LGBT employees’ organization in my workplace. I thought we hit it off well, but was still surprised when I saw him today in the employee cafeteria and thought he was making an rather forward proposal.
Turns out if he was asking if I liked pho.