I recently spent time with a teacher who works in one of the schools where a shooting occurred. She told the story of that day – and how, days after the incident, the school administration had brought in comfort dogs for the staff and the students.

I had heard the phrase, but hadn’t realized that comfort dogs don’t actively provide comfort. They are trained to accept affection without reacting. They will let you cuddle with them and stroke them and be close to them, but not lick your face or give back in any obvious way. They provide comfort by accepting others’ affection.

So often in human relationships, we hear about people with difficulty receiving affection, who believe that their role is to give and give, as that’s the only way to make sure the other person feels appreciated. They feel lazy or guilty for letting the other person do for them. (And yes, I’m one of those people.)

It’s worth remembering that accepting what someone else has to offer is a gift in itself. That allowing someone to love and respect is as much a sign of affection as offering it yourself.

I’m not much of a dog person. But it looks like even they can teach an old me new tricks.