A Far, Far Better Thing…

…with the emphasis on Far.

So many of us have done it. Gotten into a chat with an interesting person via social media, or maybe met them in passing at a wedding, conference, or some other gathering far from one of your hometowns. And there was a spark, and you would like to find out how and whether each of you fits in the other’s life.

But they live way far away. Can long distance relationships succeed? What can you do to increase the chances? Here’s a beginning checklist:

First, don’t let logistics get in the way of attraction. We like who we like and we love who we love; don’t write off somebody who gives you tingles just because it’s going to be hard to see each other.

Second, make sure you’re both on the same page about the practicalities. If one of you expects or needs to see the other every month, and you can only see them twice a year, it’s not going to be a successful relationship.

A third way to help it succeed is to celebrate every contact, every shared dream, every time you see or do something that reminds you of the other person. Contact and common experiences can go a long way in reinforcing long-distance relationships even when you can’t be physically together as often as you might like. (This is why text messaging was invented, folks.)

And a fourth important approach — and perhaps a challenging one — is to encourage the distant partner to find in local relationships the things that you can’t provide in a long distance one. Support them in their relationships with their local partners, the ones that give them regular touch and other experiences that only happen in person. Those people are not rivals for your relationship; they make it possible.

There are many more aspects to long distance relationships, but follow those and you’ll be off to a solid start.