Following on our recent coverage of various types of amorous relationships, I have received requests from monogamists to detail what some more traditional forms of relationship might look like. I am glad to oblige.
- Bonogamy, which is a relationship just between U2.
- Donogamy, being married to the Mob.
- Mahogamy, in which your partner constantly inspires wood.
- Shananagamy, which is like monogamy, but greasier.
- Pigamy, where neither of you can get enough bacon.
- Manolomy, in which you are commited to your solemate.
- and Tommybahamagamy, which starts casual but winds up costing you a bunch.
(Some people also practice anonogamy, summed up as “Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name?”)