No, I’m not trying to convince you. You may be perfectly delighted with your long-term monogamous partner. That’s wonderful!
But you’re still polyamorous.
No, it’s not that there was a 2-for-1 offer at OKCupid. Or a Tinder Groupon (Grope-on?)
But polyamory is the willingness to have more than one significant relationship at a time. And you do.
The moment you’re in a relationship, you’re with two partners.
(Were you forgetting to count yourself?)
Yes, you count. In fact, you are your own #1 relationship. You will be with you forever. So meeting your own needs legitimately comes first.
There’s a reason the airlines tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before seeing to the needs of others. If you are incapacitated or not where you need to be physically, emotionally, and/or mentally, it becomes somewhere between harder and impossible to take care of a partner or relationship.
So treat yourself as you would a partner. Schedule time for yourself to see to your own needs, to do things you like to do.
After all, that partner (or partners) fell in love with you. Don’t let that you get lost in being they — for your own good and for your partnership.