Does a Benefit Make a Friend?

In the Facebook era, “friend” has become a verb.

It has also become a disposable noun; with the click of a button, we make a “friend”; with another, they are de-friended.  That’s not much of a friendship.

Recently, one of my partners described me as her “lover.”  And the younger person to whom she was speaking said, “Nobody calls them that anymore. Say ‘friend.'”

Leaving aside the lack of poetry and clarity in using the word thus, in the dating world, there is the concept of friends with benefits, a term that is so widespread it needs no further explanation.  Except, perhaps this: There is an important difference between friends with benefits and friends because benefits.

If the benefits go away and they do too, they weren’t friends.

That distinction may not be important to some.  But to those for whom a deeper connection makes for better sex, it’s vital.

Physical attraction may come and go. Friendships, though, endure. When you can have as much fun together doing whatever you do, and be as connected clothed as naked, that’s the good stuff. And it can’t be erased by a click.

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