I was on a business trip. The workday done, I headed for the pool.

When I got there, the large pool area was deserted save for two couples. They had their lounges pulled together and were engaged in lively conversation.

As I eased into the whirlpool, I watched the four of them interact. There was the unmistakable vibe of intimacy.

Were they close friends? Were they lovers? There was no real way to tell. Nor am I aware of an easy, innocuous introductory question that might determine the answer. And perhaps I’m overly sensitive to appearances of polyness – but this sure seemed like it.

So, what should our symbol, secret handshake, or innocent-appearing question be that can quickly and surreptitiously sort the poly from the vanilla? Until we come up with an answer, we might be missing out on some good cuddle parties.