Sex is comedy.

I don’t mean it’s inherently funny, although it can certainly be that, especially if you catch a look in a mirror at the wrong moment.

But it’s comedy in that some comedians work hard to develop a killer routine. They know the timing; they know the patter; they even know and are ready for the likely heckles. They develop five minutes of solid gold, and hone it and run it over and over until it can’t miss.

And with the right audience, it kills.

Problem is, you have to find the right audience. And if the audience you have wants something else, sorry; that’s all you’ve got.

Good sex, on the other hand, is improv. You have some set pieces, some techniques, some ways of approaching the subject that are yours and yours alone. And you bring them out in response to comments from the audience, ideas thrown at you, seeing what pieces worked and which look like they’re bombing. Even the stumbles or miscues get turned into something positive. Next thing you know, it’s how you can make these three random objects work together in a creative way…

But the big point is, it’s interactive. It’s not something you deliver; it’s something that you create as part of a team with your partner or partners. And even though it’s never the same twice, it’s a joyful melding that belongs to you, together, in that place and time. And anyone who missed the show won’t understand.

But those who were there will be awfully glad they were.

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