A Personal Insight

…and not necessarily a comfortable one:

I am, by any reasonable standard, polysaturated. I have three local partners and four long distance relationships. My life is full of love and loving.

Yet I still meet people to whom I’m attracted, and want to begin wooing them. It feels like a need, even though all of my imaginable needs are well taken care of. When I try to figure out what I am actually desiring, the following comes back (and I recognize that it does not necessarily speak well of me):

I yearn for that moment when the other person realizes that they are in love with me.

The relationship could end right there; in a way, everything after that is dénouement. But I just want them to feel well cared for and completely supported and to know they have that in their life.

Yes, in some cases there is a sexual attraction, or at least a curiosity about what it would like to touch this person and bring them pleasure. But I can’t say that I often meet someone and want them in my life forever and ever; just to know they want to be is enough.

Weird. And I’m hoping that that’s not right. But I’ll keep thinking on it.

One thought on “A Personal Insight

  1. IPCookiemonster writes about being an NRE addict and how that can be hard on current long-term relationships. You might find insights and comfort in those writings. I am the opposite, I find NRE to be unsettling and uncomfortable. Anyway lots of NRE addicts learn to manage this so as to not spread themselves too thin and to maintain the heat of their long-term relationships.

    Anyway want to fall in love and be loved are far from horrible human failings.

    Like

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