…and not necessarily a comfortable one:
I am, by any reasonable standard, polysaturated. I have three local partners and four long distance relationships. My life is full of love and loving.
Yet I still meet people to whom I’m attracted, and want to begin wooing them. It feels like a need, even though all of my imaginable needs are well taken care of. When I try to figure out what I am actually desiring, the following comes back (and I recognize that it does not necessarily speak well of me):
I yearn for that moment when the other person realizes that they are in love with me.
The relationship could end right there; in a way, everything after that is dénouement. But I just want them to feel well cared for and completely supported and to know they have that in their life.
Yes, in some cases there is a sexual attraction, or at least a curiosity about what it would like to touch this person and bring them pleasure. But I can’t say that I often meet someone and want them in my life forever and ever; just to know they want to be is enough.
Weird. And I’m hoping that that’s not right. But I’ll keep thinking on it.